I allow separateness as well as
togetherness in my relationship.
The dream of most romantics including me is that a relationship is the solution to all your dreams of happiness. The romantic gets into a relationship feeling giddy and over the moon reveling in the togetherness. Not wanting the feeling to end they often cling to the person that they love. While relationships can be part of a happy life they certainly are not the be all end all of life. Discovering that a relationship needs both separateness and togetherness will go a long way in keeping the relationship together. This is because both people have room to breathe, room to be individuals and room to explore themselves and life.
The fascinating part of discovering this truth is that each person becomes even happier. And freedom to become keeps the relationship alive because each person keeps bringing something new to the relationship. Boredom is banished. Boredom can be a real relationship killer. Often, that’s what causes one partner to cheat on the other. It’s the newness and excitement of someone else that draws them away. The problem with this situation is that that boredom will surface again once the newness and excitement wears off. Then the whole damn cycle has to be gone through again.
Like the tree and the sky they exist together while also separate. Focus on a balance of both separateness and togetherness in your relationship. You’ll be glad that you did.