Spreading positivity is self-care.
Why is spreading positivity self-care? Spreading positivity does good things to us as a result of doing it. It reinforces a positive attitude through practice. While being negative reinforces a negative attitude and feeling miserable.
Spreading positivity gives us the warm fuzzies. This good feeling boosts the immune system and increases neurochemicals that bring up our mood. Science has proven that the neurochemicals dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins make us happy. One could call them the “happiness formula”.
Spreading positivity connects us to others. When we speak and act in a negative way, we push other people away from us. Most people would rather be around positive people because it helps them to feel good too. Spreading positivity connects us to others, as well, because it shows that in some small way we care. Sometimes, it’s the one thing in a tough day that makes the day better for someone else.
Spreading positivity builds support. The more supportive we are of others the more likely they will be supportive of us. On an emotional level we could all use more support.
Some unintentional results of spreading positivity are that it creates a positive jolt of energy and people tend to pass it on to others. Have you ever noticed that you feel drained around people who are downers while spending time with people who are positive energizes you? That’s because attitudes are just as catching as a cold or virus. Like the principle of paying it forward, people pass on the good energy to other people.
If you’re not in the habit of spreading positivity, try making a small gesture. It could be so small as complimenting someone. Or it could be bigger like buying a homeless person who is hungry a sandwich. Whatever it is, it will build you up while also building someone else. And anything we do to build ourselves up helps us to feel better which is the goal of self-care. Practice this activity as often as possible to make it a habit that will bring such great feelings in yourself that you will want to do it over and over again.
Find the thing that you love and do it as much as possible.
I love a lot of things. Of all the things I love there is nothing I love more than dancing. And when the music moves me, I dance. It usually doesn’t matter where I am. I’ve danced while standing in line at the grocery store. I’ve stopped my car to get out and dance around the car with a friend to “When Doves Cry” by Prince. I’ve danced “naked in my living room” as Alanis Morrisette recommends in the song “You Learn”.
Besides dancing by myself, I dance with a partner as a ballroom dancer. I have been doing this for 18 years. Ballroom dance adds socialization and mental exercise to the physical exercise. Plus, I get the opportunity to wear beautiful outfits and dresses. I love that! I met my loving husband at the dance studio. I love that! The people at the dance studio have been my support and my family. It is the most positive social group that I have ever experienced. I love that! Another type of dance that I really enjoy is line dancing. I don’t do it much now though. Perhaps I will find a way to get that into my life too.
Just Dance on the Wii game console is what I do every day for overall fitness. I really hate to exercise. It is so boring and repetitive. Thank goodness for Just Dance. I have Just Dance 1 – 4 and 2014 – 2017. I plan on gifting myself 2018 for Christmas unless I can convince my husband to gift it to me.
If I couldn’t dance I’d be really depressed. For mostly financial reasons I couldn’t take dance lessons for a few years. I held onto the hope that I’d be able to do it again in the future. As time marched on and I continued to recover my life that hope became reality. I am so thankful that that is true today.
I plan to keep on dancing as much as possible for as longs as possible. What thing do you love that way? I strongly believe that finding every opportunity to do that thing that you love every day of your life is essential to a happy life. Try it. You might find what I believe to be true.
I walk towards people who treat me like I am a “someone”. I walk away from people who treat me like a “something”.
This is not so easy to do. It takes time and practice to understand how we are being treated by people. Learning to be more observant is fundamental. Here’s some tips for making the distinction between being treated like a “someone” or a “something”.
Are they really listening to you? Some people are monologists. They talk at you not to you. They drone on and on while not giving you a chance to have an “in” for the conversation (if we can even call it a conversation). Some people are waiting to jump in to talk just to add their opinion or just to be able to participate in the conversation. Then, there are people who want to be argumentative and/or opinionated no matter what you have to say. People who respond with a shrug, a grunt or some other non-direct way just aren’t listening to you at all.
Are they paying attention to you?Are they looking at you? Are they touching you to make physical contact? Are they giving you verbal responses? When someone’s attention is somewhere else these days it’s usually on a media device like a TV, a computer, a cell phone or a tablet. These distractions surely don’t foster connection on a physical level. You can be sure that someone has not got your attention when they are wrapped up in their media.
Are they trying to control you?When people try to control other people they view them as an object with no personal value except for what the object (you) can give them. These people tell you what you should do, how you should act and how you should be. Notice the word “should”. Once the shoulds come out of their mouths, you know you are viewed not as a “someone”.
Do they call you names or otherwise label you? Labeling is the surest way to put a person into a neat describable package. That package is who you are to them and not much else.
Do they dismiss your opinions, beliefs and ideas? People who treat people as “somethings” don’t care about what you think and believe. They haven’t much use for your opinion especially if it doesn’t line up with their opinion.
When we step back in order to be observant rather than reactive we can notice the signs. It’s a choice we can make at any time. We can rely on our feelings too. If you notice that you are feeling irritated, annoyed, angry or anything else, think about what is causing you to feel that way. It could that there is not something right about how you are being treated by the other person. We often have bodily sensations that can tell us that something is bothering us in our personal interaction with someone. Our gut might bother us. Our chest might tighten. Our muscles might tense up. We can have any number of physical sensations. It’s up to us to notice how our bodies feel.
I believe that it is healthy and necessary to put into practice walking towards people who treat us like a “somebody” while walking away from people who treat us like a “someone”. This is something that I intend to do as much as possible. I encourage you to do it too.
I don’t let a down day get me down.
Yesterday was the worst day that I have had in awhile. My pain was extreme and I had some other very difficult symptoms. My day was what is usually called a flare-up. That’s “fibromyalgia speak” for the experience of feeling shitty in the most possible ways. I liken it to a really bad flu mixed with a reaction to a poisonous toxin.
I live with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I do not tend to focus on it because I have found that paying too much attention to it makes me feel worse. I don’t want to irritate people by talking about it either. For this article, I mention it because I want to convey what I mean by a down day.
One can imagine that such a day can trigger depression. It surely did. But, I reminded myself not to let it get me down. I reminded myself that such a day does not define the next day. I won’t say that today is a vastly improved day over yesterday. It is a better day.
By reminding myself that a down day doesn’t have to get me down I was able to handle it. According to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., who wrote “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway”, the belief that we can’t handle something is at the bottom of most all of our fears. I was able to handle it and I’ve been able to handle it. I don’t fear it. I am tired of it. Chronic pain is tiring. I can’t say that I believe that it has it’s place (that there is a reason for it). It’s just good to know that I can handle it. And, I will handle it.
Despite the pain which in life is inevitable the heart of life is good. There is so much to do and experience. I don’t want to miss those things. There are so many connections with good people to be made. I don’t want to miss that either.
I keep moving forward so that the experience of life in whatever form it takes is a new opportunity for me to live.
Back From Hiatus Hippy Chic Jewelry Classes Begin Anew Starting July 2018
Beginning July 16th 2018 at the Catherine Schweinsberg Rood Central Library (formerly the Central Brevard Public Library) in Cocoa Florida Hippy Chic Jewelry Classes will be offered again. Once a month a new and exciting project will be offered at both the newly rebuilt Mims-Scottsmoor Public Library and the Catherine Schweinsberg Rood Central Library. The dates for each class and the class that is being offered can be found on the events calendar on this website.
In the upcoming months plans are in the works for very different types of projects that use simple household items like old cds/dvds and nail polish. Projects that use these types of materials will include fairy wing earrings and glass dragon eyes. Stay tuned by visiting our site regularly to see what fun projects are offered for your participation in the future. It’s can be challenging to make your own jewelry but the rewards are surely worth it. Hope to see you very soon!
I easily set boundaries.
Hmmm…setting boundaries. How many of us struggle with this one? Why is it so tough to do it? Is it about fitting in and being liked? Is it about childhood training? Is it something else?
I struggle with setting boundaries. I envy the people who easily say “NO”. They just come out and say it without blinking or flinching. Not me. My first inclination is to say “YES”. Later on I realize what I am getting myself into and then I regret it.
Recently I am struggling with setting boundaries with someone who has befriended me who lives very near me. She seems like a nice person but now she is becoming a bit of a nuisance. She wants more of my time and effort than I want to give. So, here I am trying to figure out how to nicely create space between us without upsetting her feelings. This is a lesson to learn. Do not jump into friendships with people, especially if they live nearby.
To answer the above questions that I began this post with would take some research. Maybe, another day I will address that. My gut tells me that a lot of boundary setting difficulty or ease has to do with childhood training. The people who want to please their parents as children have a difficult time setting boundaries. And, this carries on over into adulthood with other people. The question is this, “Are these people naturally predisposed in their personalities to want to please their parents or is it just that their parents are so forceful that they are trained to want to please them?” I do wonder.
It would be really cool if we could go back to the first moment when we made the decision to react to our parents in a way to please them. In that moment, if we could be an observer, we could discover if we naturally wanted to please them from our own inborn personality. Of course, there is no way to really do that or study that. I believe this to be true because that first moment has to be at such a young age that it would be next to impossible to study.
As to my own struggle with people-pleasing, I am going to have to remind myself to say “NO” to this person who is in my life right now and know that it is okay. I don’t have to let her have what she wants all the time. My wants and needs are important too. And I will remind myself that each time I set a boundary I respect myself and that it will get easier every time that I practice this skill.
Here’s to the freedom to set boundaries without guilt.
I focus on doing what I need to do.
I tend to be a bit “scatter-brained” most of the time. I don’t mean to be. It’s something I have struggled with all of my life. I guess nowadays this inability to focus on one thing is known as ADD. I even had a psychologist from my past who told me that that I have ADD. I didn’t get put on medication and I will not take any medication now.
I think this tendency arises from being so interested in so many different things that it is hard for me to focus on just one thing. It also arises out of my loss of interest in something after I start it. I’m great with beginning things. It’s ending them that is the problem. I have many unfinished projects just sitting around waiting for my attention. I feel guilty for the clutter that has accumulated from these projects.
So, it’s time to clean up the clutter from these neglected projects. But, before I do I need to focus on what I need to do and get that done first. When I do that first, I feel a little better about what I still want to do.
If you are like me and you are feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the stuff that needs to be done and all the stuff that you want to do, try taking this first step. Then go forward from there.
I am continually delighted and surprised by what my students create.
Today I taught a private lesson with my student, Sam. She had the blue roses and the crystals. We found the blue cathedral crystals, grey pearls and fairy pendant in my stock of supplies to complete this stunning necklace and earring set. She had something different in mind when she envisioned what she would do with the roses. She was happy with the results even though it wasn’t what she had thought she was going to make. Collaborating on this set together was a real pleasurable experience.
I am finding that I get more excited every day helping others create jewelry than I do making it on my own. It may be because I am a very social personality type. It may be because I like teaching people. It may be because I just love the results. I may be all those reasons and more. But, it doesn’t really matter why. It’s just so cool that I have the opportunity to teach and share my love of jewelry making. I am very grateful.